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Seriously, I’m not bullshitting…

I’ve said it myself , and I WAS DEFINITELY bullshitting, but these four words made it OK.

NO WAY could I be bullshitting now, because they all knew I couldn’t be.  After all, didn’t I just tell them so?  Sure I did.  Well, I sure got away with that bit of bullshitting, because they will believe me, the internet marketing guru that I am.

It’s amazing how much bullshitting goes on in internet marketing, but in the UK they don’t have a euphemism for it – they call it as it is:  LYING.  But are they right?  Somehow I can’t quite agree that bullshitting is lying. I regard it as a stretching of the truth, or an exaggeration, but not downright lying.

Many people have their own interpretation of what bullshitting is, but it is really difficult to define the word, though I don’t believe that bullshitting is lying. It is more creating than lying.  A bullshitter will come up with a mythical situation and present it as fact. A bullshitter will exaggerate and expand a sighting of a UFO as being captured by aliens (even the sighting is likely bullshitting).

Here are some simple examples: 

“I’m not bullshitting when I say …” – he is bullshitting! 
That’s for sure. If somebody stresses that they are not bullshitting then they are. A liar knows the truth , and therefore knows the lie, whereas a bullshitter has no interest in truth.  The fabrication could be true or untrue, and the fact that he or she was decorated is neither here nor there:  it is the fact that the ‘Catering Award’ has expanded to a ‘Medal for Distinguished Service, but I had it stolen’, is the bullshit part. It is a medal for distinguished service, perhaps, but for serving food to the troops for year after year, not for active service. It might even expand into catering for the Elite Forces, and before you notice, the bullshitter is a full blown member of the SAS or Delta Force.

Now for some examples of bullshitting you will come across online, and what to beware of.

The Redundant Software Bullshitting Claim
“Buy this software that made me $5000 a week”.  Bullshit.  If it makes him $5000 weekly why does he have to make money selling it (or she for that matter since females as just as bad bullshitters as men). Do you know what?  I was dumb enough to fork out $97 when I was younger because I wanted to get $5000 a week.

Think about it! $5000 a week!  Perhaps, just perhaps, it worked at the time.  Now that I am longer in the tooth I realize why it didn’t work for me. It was Adsense page generation software that came out after Google had cottoned on, so the software was almost useless. I say ‘almost’ because it was still useful for the seller, being able to sell it to dumb numbskulls like me that listened to all the bullshit about somebody selling $5000 a week for only $97!

Here are some words that definitely precede bullshit:
Authentic, Genuine, Honestly, No Bullshit, Can’t Fail, Guaranteed

Manufactured Words
I recently saw the words ‘unconference’ and ‘agile software development’ on deli.cio.us – if that’s not bullshit what is. I also just read about how Cottonelle toilet paper changed their name to cashmere.  Guess why?  Because cashmere is softer than cotton.  What would you rather wipe your arse with:  a cashmere shawl or some toilet paper?  Paper for me, and the cashmere shawl for the wife’s birthday!  All bullshit.
Free Guarantees  - Aren’t they kind!
Be careful when buying software or ebooks online.  Take careful not of the guarantee.  You will read all about this stuff that guarantees to make you a fortune in 12 weeks or so, and you will be guaranteed to get your money back if it fails to make you money. The guarantee is load of bullshit:  It will either run for 8 weeks though the program takes 12, or will make sure you make $1 before the guarantee period is up, even though you spent $97 on the ebook.  That’s total bullshit.

Another load of bullshit is all the stuff you buy online that offers this guarantee and that money back offer as if they were doing  you a favour.  “Check Out My Great Guarantee” – “We Are So Confident Of Our Product That We Offer You A 30 Day Money-Back Guarantee”.  TOTAL BULLSHIT!  They have to offer the guarantee under USA law. That is why every product sold online in the USA, and many other countries, will come complete with guarantee.

More online bullshit you cannot miss: “You cannot fail to make this product work”, “Even a child can use it”, “No Experience Required” (Just a degree in computer programming). All seen by me in the last 24 hours – no bullshit, honestly!

All I can say is take everything you read online with a pinch of salt and seek proof for everything anyone tells you, especially if it involves you parting with cash.  There are more bullshitters out there after your cash than there is real bull shit. If the stuff they are selling is so great, why do they not use it themselves and make their own fortune, rather than try to persuade you to buy it?

Unfortunately it is the bullshitters of the internet world that people fall for rather than the quieter genuine guys like me (no bullshit) who sit in the background and quietly make money, but now and again feel a bit benevolent and offer the first takers some occasional information.

I admit to bullshitting occasionally, never telling outright lies, and now again making mistakes.  However, my offers are genuine, and if you take them up fine.  If not, still fine. I don’t rightly care one way or the other, since I shall quietly write my articles and sell my ebook showing people how to get listed on Google in 2 days, and how I got my site to #1 on Google, Yahoo and ,MSN in 1 week from me putting the last period on the last web page.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, and if it tastes like bullshit, then at least it’s better than camel shit.  At least it is true! If you want the site click here, if not, it’s no skin of my back, and at least I am not bullshitting you by saying that you will be missing something if you want your own website to be listed higher on Google than it is now. If it is listed at all!  There is no reason, as my book shows, why any website should not be listed within 48 hours of you deciding that you want it listed. No bullshit!

One of the biggest bits of bullshit I have seen on the web is a book by a certain Harry Frankfurt.  being eulogised online on such exalted sites as Amazon.  Amazingly, this book was written in 1986, and was regarded as a classic of its time, but to be published only now?  Not only that but it has only 67 readable pages! But wait, there is more:  guess the subject of this fabulous 21 year old 67 page book?  BULLSHIT!!  Now that is the biggest load of bullshit I have heard . . . or should I say the least!

What Has Bullshitting Got To Do With Blogs?
Nothing at all!  And that is not bullshit.  Apart from the fact that you will find more bullshit on blogs than on any other kind of internet communication, including emails.  It is up to you to se through what is bullshit and what is genuine truth.  Like I only tell genuine truth, and if you get used to my writing you will be able to spot the bullshit easier.

That is why you should read more of my websites, and get used to non-bullshit writing.  You will then be well trained in what is not bullshit, so that can spot the real thing a mile away. If you click on the HOME link below you will be led to more bullshit-free zones, but my contact details are also below if you want to call me or send an email or whatever to let me know of the wonderful bullshit that you come across online.

Have a good day and enjoy today's surfing, but I must get on with making money since tempus is fugiting rapidly.

Cheers, an thank you for visitng my site, even if you hate it! At least it is not a load of bullshit.  But then again . . .

Pete

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